A few friendly reminders for your holiday season:
- Your apology should be as loud as your disrespect, or don’t bother offering it.
- Instead of invalidating someone’s feelings, pause and show compassion (even if you think the matter is trivial).
- Things to discuss around the dinner table in place of politics and the like…the weather, upcoming vacations, which holiday movie to watch next, etc…
- When your kids come home from college a little different than when they left, ask them about what they’ve enjoyed during the semester, instead of judging their new hair color/piercing/tattoo, their choice in new friends, or their grades. They are navigating a new phase in their life, allow for some grace.
- Genuinely ask how someone has been doing and don’t simply talk about yourself. Lend an ear without response. Sometimes all anyone needs is a safe space to exist.
- You don’t have to stay anywhere you don’t feel welcome. This includes your parents house. Eat, say “thank you”, and leave quietly. If you can’t leave, walk around the neighborhood looking at the lights for while, sit with the kids and let them tell you about their new toys, sit in the room where they are watching football because chances are they aren’t talking about anything of substance during the game.
- Allow grace if your parents are still adjusting to your adult lifestyle. They may not understand, but they may still love you anyway and are simply navigating some new feelings. Unconditional love can still require a grace period from time to time.
- If you help with the dinner prep, you will be too busy to get involved in any of the hot topic debates. For example, you can simply stand at the stove and stir the gravy until all the lumps are gone.
- Your family’s love may feel suffocating, but be reminded that there is someone else who wishes they had a family who loved them enough for it to feel stifling. Enjoy it, because life is fleeting, and next year some of the people around the table may not be there anymore.
- Laugh if you ruin any part of the meal, even the main course. It may be disappointing, but food mishaps are the things that everyone will remember year after year.
Happy Holidays for whichever you do and don’t celebrate! I wish you all the blessings this holiday season.✌🏼♥️
Remember, “However long the night, the dawn will break.”—African Proverb, random song lyrics, and the internet can be credited for this nugget.
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